"Girl's Night Out" Does Not Help You Snag a Man

Every woman squeals over doing this type of thing. Like dressing up for Halloween, a "Girl's Night Out" is the perfect avenue for showcasing your assets. There's strength in numbers and posting vain self-portraits on Instagram are a little too obvious. Major brownie points are earned in girl world for posing sexily in a hot, pink dress with ten other women at a Las Vegas bachelorette. This is not the case if you decide to take a slew of self-portraits in the mirror from your bedroom.



On weekends I usually see this type of Facebook post:  "I'm so excited for girl's night out with the ladies, XOXO!"

This type of text message: "OMG, can't wait to look hot with you lady! Let's dance! TTYL!"

Or a series of bisexual Instagram shots with the caption: "Keeping it real! I love my bestie!"

I am somewhat floored by the amount of effort that goes into a production like this and have several theories about why it happens. It is a well known fact that girls in a group seem hotter than any of them would be individually. The female collective distracts from an individual's shortcomings and characteristics in what is commonly known as "The Cheerleader Effect," and I'm sure a scantily clad group merely augments this effect for men.  For a visual demonstration of what I'm talking about, check out this "How I Met Your Mother" video clip (trust me, it's good.. Alyson Hannigan, who was referenced as the quintessential dude's hottie in my "Stop Reading Cosmo" post: http://howtosnagaman.blogspot.com/2012/08/stop-reading-cosmo-bar-is-low.html, is actually in it):

Girls are inherently vain and wish to be ogled at (even though they don't really care to dance or meet someone at a club). While this whole facade plays nicely into a girl's emotional pornography and the vision of being glamorous (just like those ladies from Sex and the City!), it's not really effective in snagging a man.

First of all, what kind of rational man wants to "break the set" with seven catty women? The whole interaction will inevitably be dissected, reviewed, and gossiped about since nitpicking on the "strange man" is the perfect way for the ladies to bond. In addition, the male often has to deal with variables like the heavy-set jealous friend or the gate-keeping male friend the ladies have dragged along. The man probably would (and should) run for the hills on this one.

Secondly, all ladies should examine their honest intentions here. Are you really going to the club to find true love or to actualize your emotional pornography and the Sex and the City vision? Chances are, you probably won't find the man of your dreams from a sea of drunken men who come there with the intention to ogle, but maybe that's what you really want. When you go out for "Girl's Night Out," it's just a given that you don't want to be caught grinding with some strange man or incur the censure of your girl mob. So admit your true intention (be it vanity or something else) and discern that from your desire to succeed. Too many times, I have seen women invest hours, maybe days, into looking sexually desirable for the big moment, only to become incredibly depressed, despondent, and disappointed when the colossal amounts of effort don't translate to actual guy success. This behavior is irrational to me and doesn't make any sense.

If you are going to make "Girl's Night Out" work for you in snagging a man, I would suggest trading in your female loyalty for true opportunity by breaking off from the set. Since I'm generally excluded from bi-sexual antics or grow tired of the girl clique over the course of the evening, I usually wander into a nice surgeon or engineer on my way to the bar (whom I then try to foist onto one of my girl friends).

"Girl's Night Out" does not help you snag a man.