Real Vs. Not Real

Women everywhere buy into the hype: perfect house, perfect husband, perfect life. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of the moment I'd drive a bright, magenta convertible (my father gave me a shiny electric Barbie car which I eagerly drove around the neighborhood cul-de-sac to the annoyance of all of my playmates) and live in my giant, pink Barbie mansion.

Movies, books, and magazines only served to reinforce my whimsical girlishness and dreams of glamorous glory. So that by the time I left for college in California, I was dreaming of reaching for that Hollywood sign, those sun-kissed surfers, ocean-side cliffs, and my time to shine, wind-blown hair and all, in the driver's seat of my bright, shiny, magenta convertible. 

As much as I'd like to think I'm unique in this quest, the older I get, the more I realize, I'm not that special. 

Girls, women, grown women everywhere dream of this. Maybe not this exact permutation - but the overarching general set-up, which generally includes living up to some kind of perfect standard and loving some kind of perfect man. The perfect man strums the guitar and tells you all kinds of perfect things to facilitate ego massage so that you can fall asleep happy, blanketed in your own glory - whether that be validation of your beauty, self-worth, or some other form of identity awesomeness. 

None of this is real. As cliched as this sounds, what's real is inside. Look at what a man does, not what he says. Is he the type of man you could call if you run out of gas and give you a ride? If not, next. Would he help you move into your new apartment? No? Next. Does he give you constructive feedback or does he tell you what you want to hear? If not, run. Does he make you drive, or does he act like a gentleman? If the answer is no, never hitch a ride with the asshole again. Does he flirt with you or does he buy you a drink? If not, what the fuck? If a man is not capable of problem solving, he's not a man - what you have is not real, and you should seriously consider looking at what's real to solve your own problems. 

True beauty comes from self-respect and the ability to shape your own reality- which starts with identifying what reality actually is. Love isn't in the movies or magazines. Love is borne from commitment, honesty, and perhaps a more bread and butter examination of what you need versus what you want. Look at what's real, not in your head, to snag a man and keep him.