Don't Be a Ditz (All the Time)

We all know people like this. Nice, friendly, eager, with the appearance of stupidity and a disarming smile. Ditzy people exist. Particularly ditzy women. Ditzy cute women. 

From an evolutionary standpoint, this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. If the goal of mating and propagating one's species means producing off-spring that are equipped to deal with life's hard knocks, then ditziness appears to be a maladaptive trait. On the other hand, men are stupid, and their priorities can be easily re-shuffled for superficial matters (such as ego-massage). According to research, appearing to be non-threatening and speaking in a high-pitched voice are biologically sure-fire ways of signaling "femininity" and sparking attraction. Further complicating matters is the male-ego's tendency to be easily manipulated and the high-maintenance woman's perpetual quest for attention. A sense of accomplishment derived from rescuing a damsel in distress feeds a man's sense of self- importance. The jolt of satisfaction derived from having a man drop everything to fix emotional turmoil and self-created problems (logistical or imagined) feed's a woman's sense of self. 

The problem with all of this, is that while ditziness may help a woman successfully snag a man, it does not help her keep him. Unless he's grossly controlling and has significant mental problems, the off-switch needs to exist somewhere for the relationship to persist. A healthy relationship is based on two somewhat internally balanced and equal contributors pulling their weight in a partnership that assuages the distress caused by life difficulties and problems. According to a Stanford study, a woman's ability to juggle the expectations of femininity and masculinity with chameleon-like fluidity is key to her professional success. I believe this applies to a long-term relationship. To be a woman that is taken seriously, you must occasionally turn off the ditz switch, tidy up your "mess," and move away from co-dependence. 

Sadly, I've seen far too many cute (ditzy) women accept male projections and live up to them. The bloom of your early twenties will fade and the ditziness will eventually grate. Some women extend entitlement to stupidity, co-dependence, and slothfulness way beyond the expiration date (expecting others to grant them clemency for broken rules, provide logistical support for basic chores a child could complete, or meet unreasonable requests like editing papers at the last minute). If held at gunpoint, most women could probably figure out how to screw in a lightbulb and take care of their own shit.  

Being on top of your shit is a great feeling. Don't be a ditz (all the time) to snag a man and keep him.